Harry Potter And The Day EVERYTHING Happened
by jennifer snape
Summary: Timetravel, Marauders, magical animals, romance, Quidditch, you name it we got it.
1. Chapter 1

**----------------------------------**

**--------------------------------------------**

**Harry Potter And The Day EVERYTHING Happened**

**--------------------------------------------**

**----------------------------------**

Harry woke up and his scar hurt, he'd had a nightmare, he was hopelessly in love (although the object of his affections kept changing), he was in the hospital wing and he also had an unshakable sense of impending DOOM.

Yes, it was just another normal morning.

Ooops - I almost forgot.

He had also gone _back in TIME_. A dinosaur passed the window.

_Er, too far back._

The Marauders and Lily passed the window.

_That's better._

Lily looked through the window and saw Harry. "Oh look, that boy looks just like you James…but his eyes are like mine."

James looked at her in surprise. "You said you hate me and you wouldn't speak to me if I was the last wizard on earth."

Lily tossed her hair. "Shut up James, I'm not speaking to you."

Honestly, women.

Sirius looked through the window too and shook his head. "I don't agree. I'd say he has your eyes Lily, but he looks like James."

Remus peered in. "No no no, I'd say he looks like James…but he definitely has Lily's eyes."

Before Harry had the chance to tell them how irritating this line of conversation was, he was transported back to the present time for no particular reason and without warning.

Ron gasped as he materialised back in the present. "How did you do that?"

Harry shrugged. "Happens sometimes."

Then Harry spotted a girl he'd never seen before in his life and a Barry White song started playing in the background and a disco ball appeared out of nowhere. This girl was called Cho. She walked past and he instantly realised that he was in love with her and there would never be anyone else.

Then Ginny walked past and he completely forgot about what's-her-name and realised that he was in love with Ginny and there would never be anyone else.

Then Voldemort walked past and fluttered his eyelashes and he realised that he was in love with him and there would never be anyone else.

Then (insert random character here) walked past and he realised that he was in love with (same) and there would never be….

You get the picture.

SUDDENLY –

---------------------------

--------------------------------

---------------------------

I've definitely used these clichés before more often than I should have – I thought they'd make a good spoof :o) heehee


	2. Chapter 2

**------------------------**

**--------------------------------**

**Chapter 2**

**--------------------------------**

**------------------------**

Where were we? Oh yes.

SUDDENLY -

A Parseltongue-speaking three-headed dragon-snake that was part unicorn, part centaur, part owl and part Crumple-Horned-Snorkack appeared. Everyone agreed that it must be evil because it was different to them, so Harry killed it. But then it transpired that it was actually Hagrid's pet/ guarding something at the school/ integral to the story later on so Harry brought it back to life with a spell that he had read on the back of a packet of cornflakes that morning.

Phew! Thank goodness he hadn't had Weetabix.

A few minutes later Harry jumped out of bed because he miraculously healed from whatever it was that he had been in the hospital wing in the first place for. Let's say a Quidditch injury. Something strange happened though…he turned into a _Veela_. This turned out to be a rather unfortunate side effect of getting out of bed, even though this is quite bizarre and has never actually been documented before.

For some reason Dumbledore looked thoughtfully into the distance and his eyes twinkled. It wasn't important to the story but I felt the need to mention it.

Dumbledore went on to inform everyone that Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff houses were going to merge together because they weren't getting any attention whatsoever as separate entities. Nobody noticed, and the respective houses went back to being completely ignored once more.

The Headmaster had another announcement. He removed his hat and several Bertie Botts beans fell out. "Ah, I'd been looking for those." He cleared his throat. "The school Droobles Best Blowing Gum projects Chocolate Frogs have Lemon-Drop been Fizzing Whizzbee allocated Gobstone."

Once removing the inadvertently mentioned sweets from this statement, everyone took this to mean that the school projects had been allocated. Harry got paired with Draco Malfoy. _How funny that you always get paired with someone you hate and never with someone that you feel indifferent about_, thought Harry to himself.

Not to worry though – the usual thing happened that always occurs when two people who can't stand each other have to work closely. They fell in love. But it wasn't just a spur of the moment thing, oh no. It took a whole twenty minutes.

Harry was so overcome with emotion that he scratched his nose.

Uh-oh, Harry, you shouldn't have done that. (His nose was a portkey). He was instantly transported to –

Yes, you guessed it -


End file.
